We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
