I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
