i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
