Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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