Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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