Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
