I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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