The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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