Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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