if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
