you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
