we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
