my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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