i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I FOUND THE LEGS
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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