Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
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I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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