Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
