Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
is wine microwaveable?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
