i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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