Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
