i love accidental penises.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
