trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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