Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
