Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
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are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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