I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
