I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
