There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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