I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
