glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
