And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize