Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
