sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
