I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
