You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize