He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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