So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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