I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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