You can't motorboat a personality
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
