Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
