that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
