tell your sister to shave her snatch
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
