whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
