My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
