dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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