On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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