a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
