After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
