My sheets look like a crime scene.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
