i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
