Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
