I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is it penis luge time yet?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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