Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
