Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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