i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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