he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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