Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
