Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
