His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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