We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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