Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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