so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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