therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
