Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
